


we defy augury

by addie_cakes



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, Domestic Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Insecure Magnus Bane, M/M, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, Magnus and Alec need sleep okay, a reference to hamlet, magnus and Alec? talking things out? it's as likely as you think, post 3.13
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-12
Updated: 2019-03-12
Packaged: 2019-11-15 23:30:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18083042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/addie_cakes/pseuds/addie_cakes
Summary: [Post 3.13] “In an unsurprising turn of events, the Clave has a deeper layer of secrets, and investigating might result in injury or—”Magnus didn’t let him finish that thought. As far as the Clave was concerned, he knew how those sorts of statements always ended. And he wasn’t ready for that conversation, that threat of finality that came when one burrowed into mysteries that others meant to keep unsolved.If he did only have forty, maybe fifty years left, then he planned to spend every single day within those years with Alec. And neither the Clave nor anyone else had any right to try to interfere with that notion. Magnus's life had been hard enough already; he deserved a peaceful denouement to account for his turbulent life.





	we defy augury

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to find me on Twitter @addie_cakes_ and tumblr @addie-cakes

“Long day, pup?” Magnus wryly asked. He smiled slowly, the expression belying his fake attempt at a serious conversation.

In a smart move, Alec hardly flinched at the sound of the nickname. Though Magnus knew that the term absolutely drove Alec insane, he also knew that Alec was rebelling by refusing to offer a response. Deciding that he would rather ignore the petname than give Magnus a reaction (lest the older man take the excuse to continue to use it), he merely glanced up from his tablet and lowered the device but didn't completely abandon it, clearly tired and arguably half-worried.

“You were right about Izzy,” he said. His voice was low, rough and grumbly with daily use. It probably didn’t, Magnus mused, help that it was late, and both were exhausted, but neither were yet permitted to fall asleep.

As always, there was work to be done.

Magnus nodded thoughtfully. With a quick movement, he crossed the space between the doorframe and Alec’s desk, leaning down to press a quick kiss to the younger man’s cheek. When Alec didn’t pull away, he took that excuse to add another, for effect.

The second time, Alec huffed out a laugh. He put his hand on Magnus’s forearm and swiveled his chair so that he was facing his boyfriend. “You were right,” he repeated, softer this time, and glanced down. “…I just want her to be okay.”

“Of course you do,” Magnus agreed. He perched on the edge of the desk, careful to ignore the pain that shot up his spine as he smacked his hip against the sharp edge of the oversized fixture. “…is she?”

With a light shrug, Alec shook his head. “Not sure. I mean, I don’t think she’s okay—” he placed an emphasis on the word, as if he were saying ‘ _okay_ -okay’—“but I think that she’s better than she was. Or, is. I don’t know.” His sigh was heavy, and Magnus thought of kissing Alec again, if only such an action could soften the Shadowhunter’s frustrations.

“You’re there for her. I’m sure that means a lot to her.”

“Thank you for telling me.”

Magnus nodded. “Of course.” In the span of their relationship, both men had learned that lying and secrets and deception—none of those things helped either of them. They were two men who were so different and yet shared these horrible, protective tempers. Keeping each other in the dark had brought them too many problems, had started far too many arguments and fights and (even worse) break-ups.

And Magnus remembered far too well how angry Alec had been when he hadn’t informed the younger man of his suspicions regarding Isabelle’s condition. It hadn’t even been a question now, whether Magnus should have mentioned something to Alec now.

As he had also learned, being in a relationship with one Lightwood meant being involved with all of them.

Putting his tablet down, Alec turned his chair again and placed his elbows against the desk with a _thud_. He leaned forward, hands resting against the top of his head, as if he were thinking too hard and simultaneously trying in vain to relax.

Sympathetic to his boyfriend's frustrations, Magnus stood quietly. It only took a step to find himself behind Alec’s chair, and the older man began to rub small, gentle circles into Alec’s shoulder. In a different situation, he might have begun with something deeper, kept his touch firm, brought warm oil and asked Alec to remove that shirt that was just begging to be unbuttoned, but he knew Alec too well—he wasn't the kind of man who couldn't ignore what he felt were his responsibilities for any kind of long-term enjoyment without first searching for a resolution.

To be fair, the longer Magnus spent with the Shadowhunters, the more he began to believe he was operating in a similar fashion.

“…but that’s not the only thing, though, is it?” Of course Magnus could read his boyfriend better than that, and of course Alec didn’t try to pretend that he wasn’t bothered by something else. He leaned back into Magnus’s touch, closing his eyes.

“In an unsurprising turn of events, the Clave has a deeper layer of secrets, and investigating might result in injury or—”

Magnus didn’t let him finish that thought. As far as the Clave was concerned, he knew how those sorts of statements ended. And he wasn’t ready for that talk, that threat of finality (death) or violent kind of conversation (death), that—no, none of it.

If he did only have forty, maybe fifty years left, then he planned to spend every single day within those years with Alec. And neither the Clave nor anyone else had any right to try to interfere with that notion. Magnus's life had already been hard enough; he deserved a peaceful denouement to account for his turbulent life.

Alec’s eyes widened as Magnus turned the chair so that they were facing each other. “That’s not new.”

“New rule—no turning my chair." When Magnus only offered an unimpressed and thin-mouthed expression, Alec half-heartedly rolled his eyes and continued. "I know. But, it is new, because…I’m normally inclined not to stick my nose where it doesn’t belong, but I feel like I should. Izzy does, too, but Mom…”

“Ay, there’s the rub,” Magnus muttered, a ghost of a smile working its way onto his features. The other person that about whom he had to be concerned, along with Alec and along with Isabelle and along with Jace and Max, was Maryse. She seemed to like Magnus well enough now, but then again, it was only a few weeks ago that she could hardly tolerate him, and before then she outright hated him. If Maryse Lightwood got the impression that someone was pushing her children into dangerous situations, she was practically guaranteed to hate said someone.

“In another unsurprising turn of events, your mother is being a mother and wants to keep her beloved children alive.” He leaned forward, and Alec closed the distance between them, kissing Magnus.

It was an easy sort of kiss, the kind that domestic couples shared, one that ended far too quickly but meant plenty enough. It was what Magnus had been craving for so long; passion wasn't overrated, per se, but despite all his sparkles and glamor, he was a simple man who longed for a simpler life.

“Can’t say I blame her.”

Leveling Magnus a serious look, Alec said, “Magnus.” His smile was light enough, like he appreciated the sentiment, but he certainly couldn’t condone it. “It’s my job to do dangerous things. It’s my job to try to protect people—mundanes, Shadowhunters, Downworlders—if the Clave is doing something—“

“They definitely are,” Magnus said without hesitation. It was a simple statement, anyway; the Clave was known for questionable activity. It wasn’t a stretch. Magnus pulled Alec’s chair closer, ignoring the other's noise of disapproval. 

“The difference, Alexander, is that it’s a lot easier for me to encourage this dangerous activities when I’m there, too.”

Nodding in understanding, Alec pushed back his chair so that he had enough space to stand up. He almost seemed nervous, talking about the both of them in the line of danger, when just a week ago, it was normal, even natural, for them to run into a fight together. “Even if you’re not—well—”

“—a warlock, you can say it—”

“…yeah.” Alec grimaced. “Even if you’re not, it’s still my responsibility to try to figure out what’s going on. I know I'm just the head of this Institute, but if I let this thing slide, then everything everyone's said about the Lightwoods is right. And—I’ve got Izzy with me, and I’m sure Jace and Clary…” He trailed off, and deciding that counting on the newly reunited couple was likely a dead-end, he amended, “I’ve got Izzy.”

While he was in the mood to argue, especially when Alexander again felt the need to make his family's affairs his singular and personal responsibility, Magnus recognized the disadvantages far outweighed the possibilities. If discussing personal responsibility statements with Alexander were based on risk-reward values, then Magnus knew there was little reward compared to the risk of a needless spat or worse, Alec's distrust. Relenting with a long sigh, Magnus allowed his shoulders to rise and fall in agreement. “You do have Isabelle.”

“And you, I’d hope?”

The question was mostly rhetorical. Alec knew that he had, that he would always have, Magnus on his side, but a verbal confirmation never hurt anyone.

“Of course.”

Magnus stood still as Alec’s hand found the older man’s, threading their fingers together. Alec’s hands—long-versed in hand-to-hand and archery and sword-fighting—were objectively rough. Yet there was a lightness to his touch, as if he knew that he had a tendency to clumsiness outside of his Shadowhunter prowess, and he wanted to be aware of his movements, to be soft and kind and gentle when he wasn’t used to being that way, or when he wasn’t expected to be.

“…I don’t know what all’s going on right now,” Alec admitted; he so rarely said things like that, that the older man found himself unwilling to say anything yet. “Everything with Clary and Jonathan and Izzy and—and Jace, and you, _Magnus_ —” Alec’s voice softened then, broke into a noise strangely unlike himself that Magnus did give him a wide-eyed look in response.

“Sure. It's a lot.” As Magnus squeezed the younger man’s hand, he thought to himself that it was unfair, that he couldn’t be any more supportive than this. That the only things he could offer were a few words of sagely advice that Alec no longer needed, some physical contact, and a comfortable bed. No longer could he offer protection or healing magic or backup; if anything, Alec had to worry about Magnus’s wellbeing now, and it was—

Well, Magnus didn’t like it. Hated it, actually. Aside from proving his physical ability in a mock-training session earlier, Magnus recognized his weaknesses now, and rather than embrace them in some kind of Disney-like move of self-assurance which would lead to triumph, he more than anything felt the ache of missing his powers more strongly.

He missed being able to protect the people he cared about. Even being unable to procure that root to alleviate Isabelle's cravings had been a blow to his spirit—if Magnus Bane had no powers, and if he couldn’t take care of the people Alec loved the most, the ones that he too had grown to love as if they were his own family, and if he couldn’t take care of _Alec_ , then he probably didn’t deserve any of this, this closeness to Alexander, this intimacy, this love.

But Alec looked tired, and Magnus wasn’t keen on letting him trace his stamina rune again in another shallow effort to maintain his energy level. All Alec needed to know now was that Magnus supported him. He didn't need to know those pervasive, harmful thoughts Magnus had running through his head. They would only worry Alexander and pry his attention away from other pressing matters. And if there were a possibility that Magnus's silence (as rarely as it came, admittedly) could in some way benefit Alec's well-being, then it was worth it to Magnus.

Abruptly patting Alec’s hand and breaking the contact between them, Magnus started for the door. “Come on. I’ve got a bottle of corner-store wine, and we’ve still got those movies to catch up on. My treat.” It was a joke, of course; normally, Magnus would have already whisked Alec away to Italy for a late-night stroll and expensive wine and pasta (it’s what he deserved, after all), but Magnus had, as of recent, had to adjust to the “less fine” things in life. The transition was going about as well as anyone would have expected it could have for Magnus.

Biting back an eager, perhaps even relieved, smile, Alec nodded. He was so young, Magnus thought, and his eyes were so bright, and if he could just learn to savor these moments as they were, like Alec had said, maybe Magnus would be satisfied.

“Let me grab my jacket—”

But old men didn’t learn from their mistakes so easily. And as much as Magnus could rationalize, could tell himself that Alec’s reasoning, in its most simplistic form, was probably right, he couldn’t force himself to agree. Their lives would never be so easy, that simply growing old together could be a natural, viable option.

No, they had to fight for each other and for their future, and as it stood, Magnus was currently powerless. So for now, Alec knew that Magnus supported him.

What he would know later was that Magnus wasn’t going to sit back and wait to see if fate would be kind enough to grant them more time together. Magnus was already determined to steal back his former life so that he could be by Alec’s side like he had been before, even stronger than before.

No matter what it took, and no matter the cost.

**Author's Note:**

> It's been a while since I've been motivated to write, but 3.13 (and the preview for 14) has me feeling all kinds of things about magnus, even if he was barely in this ep. I'm not sure if keeping secrets is the best way to go, since they've already proven that they both don't respond well to secrets, but hey—this is more rambly than anything else, but I'm just glad to write!


End file.
